Another regretful mistake men make is not committing to a visit. They think about coming to Colombia and meeting beautiful Latin women. They wonder, could it really be true that many attractive women would be interested in meeting me. They ask me and others a lot of questions. They visit our website often. But they can't muster the muscle to actually go. These men will never know what could have been. It stays a dream instead of a dream come true. Understand, it is very normal to have hesitancy prior to such an undertaking. Our introduction service is unique and unusual. The familiarity is not there for immediate comfort and acceptance. You're not accustomed to having an outsider find you a wife. You're not use to traveling to non-touristy destinations. You're not a rock star with groupies, experienced in having an audience of attractive women. And you're not comfortable with a service from an industry (international matchmaking) that, rightfully so, does not have a good reputation. Damn right you should be cautious! Even after careful research and contemplation it is normal to feel nervous. Understand that this feeling won't change until you're off the plane and meeting your first Colombian woman. That first smile will be your point of no regret. If you can dream about it, you can begin the process of finding a foreign bride. Furthermore, we conduct this process in an environment that supports and cares for you every step of the way.
Writing Before Meeting
While it would seem writing to foreign women prior to your visit would be a good thing, it carries unexpected negatives. We have had clients write women months in advance of visiting and within one hour of meeting these women, for whom they had such high hopes, realize she's not the one. A two hour date can tell you more about your attraction and connection to a woman than months of writing. For the men who chose to write to their top three or four selections prior to using our Personal Introductions Romance Tour Service, where they will meet many Latin women, there has been no empirical benefit in doing so. It is very rare for such men to actually marry the women they wrote. They marry women they didn't write. The top selections men make based on photos and a profile is very different than the selections men make after interacting with the women.
Another potential obstacle to writing a few women prior to meeting many women is that it can create an emotional bias towards those women you are writing, which prevents you from objectively and attentively comparing the attributes of every woman you meet equally. For example, if you know girl A from writing and meet girl B, you may stick with girl A due to your familiarity with her. But if you did not know either girl A or B you might have gone for girl B, because no woman had a familiarity advantage. One of the reasons for ending our correspondence service was due to the very low results men would get from traditional writing and meeting one or two women. The very best results come from men who charge forward and meet many women. The worst results come from men who fall in love with or have high expectations for a woman they have not even met.
Writing to foreign women is an act in futility. It limits the amount of women you can meet, it does not reveal the true chemistry you may have with her, it's a medium (emailing) where there is a high level of competition from other men, and it's very time consuming. Those are the obvious liabilities, but there are more obstacles few men know about. The vast majority of Colombian women, including the most educated, will not delete any emails from their inbox (you'll see why this hurts you). This peculiarity may be tied to Colombians in general not throwing anything away that potentially may have some use or value. Many Colombian women randomly open emails while ignoring other emails. This could be because they're paying for Internet time by the hour, so they will open one email from one man while ignoring an email from another man. Since the delete process is sacrilegious to Colombians, unopened emails quickly fall off the first page where they are now out of sight and usually forever forgotten. More often than not, emails that are read are not answered at that moment, leaving the possibility that those emails drop off the first page and become forgotten. The vast majority of Colombian women are not computer literate and don't understand all the functions and features of their mail account. They don't know what the symbols or indicators mean, so they may respond to one email multiple times while ignoring another email because they can't recognize what was already answered. If your email automatically goes to her junk folder she will never see it, because they won't think to look there. Sometimes they will accidentally delete all their emails because they are not aware of what they are doing. Or they will accidentally sort the columns to something besides the receive date (for example subject) and your email may not show up on her first page, which means it's never seen. Sometime they won't know how to open and look at pictures, due to photos being blocked by their default settings or not seeing that there are photo attachments, so by not seeing your photos they don't answer. Often they will share their passwords with friends and sisters who will then respond to her personal emails without her knowledge. Sometime they will forget to close their mail account in an Internet café where strangers will play around answering her emails. Sometime they will forget their password, which means they lose all their emails, and then they have to open a new account. Most Colombian women would prefer to use Messenger instead of communicating by email, and many don't know the difference. And communications by phone are just as difficult as by computer in Colombia. Most Colombians do not write phone messages down, so messages don't get relayed. Almost no Colombians have voicemail for their landlines. When they hear our landline voicemail, approximately 90% don't leave a message or know what to do. They hang-up and call back repeatedly, or talk while the voicemail is giving them instructions, or leave a message without leaving a name or phone number. Many will not answer a cell phone when they don't recognize the calling number. Approximately 80% of the women will not respond to our emails unless we call them. On average we have to call a woman four or five times to get a response from our emails. These are only some of the reasons why the use of emails and phones to initiate contact with Latin women has such a high failure rate for men.
Going It Alone
Unless you know the women, language, and surroundings of your foreign destination, and have plenty of time for your search, going it alone without professional assistance is bound to have troubles. You will be susceptible to security risk and the hazards of getting lost and being taken advantage of. You will be subject to unexpected events and downtime. You will be prone to misunderstood communications and missed signals from your encounters. Why take a trip where you have to watch your back. You can go it alone with no guarantees, or you can enjoy the comfort and security of International Introductions. We coordinate and provide for every aspect of your visit, so it goes as planned. Your time is spent enjoying not worrying. No other marriage agency will offer you the professional on-site support and attention that we do. We do everything we can to provide a very satisfying visit.
Not Knowing Her
Not knowing the woman you are going to marry is a big risk. It is best that you make no assumptions about foreign women. Assume they know nothing about you and that you know nothing about them until you learn otherwise. While we help, by providing many important questions to ask and tips to know, you still have to see proof that her actions match her answers. There are many ways to learn the desires, character, and potential of the women you are interested in and still have fun. For example, take her to a casino. Most Colombian women will not know how to play blackjack, so teach her and play. You will now see how attentive she is, how quickly she learns, and how open she is to learning something new. You will also get other indications about her, such as how logical she is, how well she follows instruction, and the risks she will take with you money. Activities together are the best way to see the real her. Passive activities such as watching television together, is an unproductive waste of the limited face to face time you have to know her. However, watching one quality movie together and sharing your impressions afterwards can be enlightening.
It is best not to trust anyone in Colombia until they have shown that you can trust them. This is opposite of my personal style, which in the United States was to trust people unless they give you reason not to, but in Colombia this view will not serve you well. Take the time to know your woman. As for timelines, there are none. For some guys it can take years; for guys who are adapt at communication and observation it can take a few months. Whatever it takes, it wasn't enough if you end up like these guys: I didn't know my wife didn't graduate from high school. I didn't know my wife couldn't learn English. I didn't know she had worms. I didn't know she was going to sit around all day and do nothing. I didn't know she wanted me to wear a condom even after we married. It's hard to feel sorry for guys that on a fundamental level didn't know the women they married. If you are going to rush into a life long decision and not really know the woman you are inviting into your life, then an unwanted outcome should not be a surprise.
Committing Too Quickly
Regardless of the high number of women you will have to choose from, you will likely have an immediate favorite at any given moment. The urge will be to focus all your time with that one woman. However, a man's initial top choice often does not stay that way. In the early dating stages unwanted surprises can reveal attributes you or she may not like about each other. What may have been, for example, your third favorite or even a new introduction can rise to the top. An early favorite comes primarily from physical attraction. But in the long run, if that woman does not have other aspects that are important to you, her beauty and attractiveness will diminish, whereas a woman who does have the compatibility and personality you seek, and is in the physical range of what you like, will become more attractive to you as you get to know her. It is best not to disregard the other women you like prior to knowing for sure that the current favorite has and can give all that you want in a wife. Meet all the women you selected that wanted to meet you, go on dates with the women you liked, and continue with the dating of multiple women until you know for sure you made the best choice based not on lust, but on mutual compatibility and attraction. Once you are down to one strong interest you can then focus on developing the relationship and love.
Taking a Vacation
You're going to have a good time in Colombia and its going to feel like a vacation, but you can't treat it as a vacation. Enjoying your companion only in vacation mode can skew the woman's perception of how her life will be in America, and it prevents you from experiencing how day to day life would be with her under normal circumstances. It's easy to have fun and get along when you're doing enjoyable activities, but how is she going to respond to day to day activities. We provide you a house to assist in such matters. Put yourselves in the role of husband and wife without using outside assistance (maid). Observe how she shops for food, cooks, cleans up afterwards, does the laundry, maintains the bedroom and living area, or how she helps you with any of these. What's her take on a simple walk together? You don't need an event to have a good time. You should be able to enjoy her company in the most mundane of places. Events can create distractions. Almost anyone can have a fun time at a fun place. For some guys they gage the fun time they have with a woman as a determinant of compatibility, when it is really just the outings that are creating the enjoyment, not the woman. If you only see your woman in play mode you are not going to know if she is going to be a responsible contributing member to the family. To determine such capabilities, casually provide her with multiple activities set at different times that require different degrees of effort to complete, and then determine if the results are acceptable to you. These activities would be everyday stuff you would expect from your partner. Some examples could include making particular arrangements prior to your visit, following a cooking recipe in Spanish that you are familiar with but that she is not, or having her buy something that fits the exact parameters you want. A foreign woman can love you very much, yet not function well when it comes to assisting you to the standard you expect.
If you are serious about finding a foreign bride then don't waste precious time during your visit. There should be potential candidates with you at all times. There is too much to learn about foreign women for you to squander this valuable time. Rest-up before and after your visit, not while you are here. With us, you are either meeting or dating women every waking moment you are in Colombia.
Over the years I would ask random Colombian women, what do you think of a guy who mails a camera to a girl after a few letter exchanges with her? Or what do you think of a guy who buys a girl a laptop after knowing her for six days? I get the same basic answer every time: he's trying to buy her. If you ask the woman who receives the gift, she will give you a different answer. Most do not want to think they are being swayed, so they will say he's being generous. But these women know, just as well as the women who admit it, that you're trying to buy them. Now when I ask women, why do you think some men do this? They don't think it's because the men are handsome, funny, or interesting. Just the opposite; they think it's because the men don't see themselves as handsome, funny, and interesting, which is why the men feel they need to spend or give money to women they barely know. So no mater how you would like to project your gift-giving, it's really a persuasive, purchasing tactic, which, yes, may work. Not at getting the woman to love you, but in getting, only temporarily, the woman's attention, time, or body. In the long run it will not get her to love you. If you want to attract a woman who is not going to be loyal, trustworthy, reliable, or sincere, buy her things. She can pretend to love you and you can pretend it's true love. But the moment hard times hit, or the money flow stops, or she can get money without you by her side, she's gone. You can't buy her loyalty and love. Why would you want a partner who you can't rely on? By far the biggest courting mistake men make is how and when they spend money on women. Money in the beginning of a relationship prior to marriage is destructive to the natural and mutual bonding of a couple. Understand that this has nothing to do with affordability. It's the value from her perspective, not yours, that's the corruptive factor that can entice women to be with you temporarily for the wrong reason. Gifts should be at a minimum (birthdays, Valentines, Christmas) or purely sentimental. You first need to evaluate her character and true intent. Her interest in you should be void of any material return. If she suggests that you go shopping for a dating activity, she is seeking a material return. Captivate her without cash if you want love, instead of spending to be the basis of your relationship. Once the love foundation is there, be who you are when it comes to money; however, I suggest you do not financially support her while she is in Colombia unless you requested that she quit her job to focus on English or other studies. Colombian men do not financially support their girlfriends or fiancées and very few Colombian men support their wives' families. The expectation should not be there for you to be any different than them. Once you are engaged I suggest you purchase a very inexpensive engagement ring because robbery is very high in Colombia. Do not assume any debt she may have and do not loan anyone any money. The more you pay and give the more she will think you're a sucker.
Be cautious of any request for money. A woman who loves you, even in an emergency situation, will not ask you for money, and she will even decline if family members request that she ask you for money. Some women will directly ask for money, be it for school, family, medical emergencies, medicine, lost property due to robbery, etc. But the more conniving women will be more subtle in how they ask for things. For example, at the mall they may ask, which pair of shoes you like the best? Or do you think this would look good on me? Or she will tell you, I can't do this activity with you because I don't have the right clothes, for example, a swim suit for swimming. Or I lost my cell phone or my computer broke, so I can't communicate with you regularly. Another form for conniving money from you is by saying they were robbed when they weren't, and to add to their misfortune had more money on them than usual, because they were going to pay or buy something. Now, for example, they can't pay their rent or buy school items for their child. Be suspicious of women who prefer you give them cash to pay for items instead of you paying for the item directly. For example, suppose you want to go on a trip when you arrive in Colombia, and you can buy the plane tickets for that trip online, but the woman says, if you send me the cash I can get a discount. Be concerned with any woman who loses the cash you give her to pay for a particular expense. Don't accept any woman calling you cheap. None of these women will be as productive and hardworking as you have been in you life, and for such women to judge what someone else should be spending on them when they don't have the capability to do the equivalent for others or themselves reveals a lack of class and character. Such a feeling of entitlement is not a positive indicator for the future. Whatever you give her is probably much more than anyone else is giving her. Women who are truly interested in you are not going to ask you for things directly or indirectly and will be sincerely appreciative of whatever you give them.
Surprisingly some men can't seem to gauge a woman's true interest. Both private and public moments are going to demonstrate how a woman feels about you, and in both situations it needs to be the same. In public she should kiss and hold you in front of family, friends and strangers, demonstrating that she is happy to be with you. She will maintain eye contact with you and her smiles and laughter will show that she is enjoying herself. She will want to be with you every conceivable moment when you are visiting her. She will want to be seen with you in public, not in the back of the restaurant. Her primary attention should be directed towards you regardless if her children, friends or family are around. She should share and publicize you to everyone she knows. She will want to have photos of the two of you together looking like a happy couple and to share those photos with others. She will guard how you spend your money. She will be physically very close to you and not want to leave your side. Privately she should touch you and want to be touched by you. She will enjoy and be responsive or initiate making love to you. She will be very touched by small sentimental gifts and flattering words. She will be open to doing activities you want, even if it's mundane. She will do small favors for you without having to ask. On the phone her excitement and tone to hear from you should be the same whether she is alone or with company. Everyday she will want to know how your day went and to share her day with you. She will tell you daily how she loves you and misses you and will often say how she can't wait to be with you again. If you are not telling her almost daily that you love her she will say, "What's wrong, you don't love me anymore?" She will tell you she is looking forward to having your baby. She won't lie to you or hide things from you. However, if she must she will lie to others to be with you. The relationship will be smooth and balanced as if both of you are one, and the infrequent problems will be quickly resolved. She will remember the details of all your dates together months afterwards, even though you probably won't. The signs of love are strong; don't rationalize if it is not there. Don't fall in love and seek marriage hoping she will eventually love and be there for you if you are good and kind to her, she won't. Maintain your common sense, avoid infatuation, control your urges and emotions, and take the time to understand her so you know if the connection has viability, mutual respect, adoration, and love. In general, most Colombian women fall in love very quickly; they're very emotional and affectionate women. If you are not feeling her passion and touch, she is not in to you.
Beware of terminology. In Colombia there is a broad application of what appears to be affectionate and loving Spanish words that don't really express true affection or love in English. In Spanish, "Mi amor," which literally translates to "my love" can be applied to strangers. "Mi vida," which literally translates to "my life" can be used with simple acquaintances. Complements have been diluted in Colombia. What sounds like an expression of love may not be. Your translator can clarify the true significance of what is being said.
Chasing the Wrong Woman
Pursuing the wrong woman can destroy your motivation to pursue the right woman. When you waste effort trying to convince a woman to love you, it's eventually going to break in a wave of heartbreak and disappointment that can halt your resolve to find love with someone different. Love and bonding should come naturally from mutual desires. Men who try to persuade women to be romantically interested in them by giving much and accepting the disrespect that comes from women who are not emotional connected to you are setting themselves up for a crash. Never accept disrespect. When a woman is not expressing interest, let her go. Do not insult yourself by being with such a woman. Trying to win-over disinterested women is an invitation to be taken advantage of. Such pursuits are usually driven by lust, while the only lust she's returning is for what she can get out of you. Examples of women not to pursue are those who initially expressed disinterest in your profile, but at your bequest, we were able to convince to meet you.
I have never experienced a case where such a relationship ended in marriage. First impressions of attraction don't usually change for women. Women who delay or avoid intimate time together should be forgotten. Don't be a man who sacrifices his self-worth and common sense in the hope of capturing a disinterested, beautiful woman.
I had one client who accepted his fiancée's request not to have sex until after marriage even though she already had a child outside of marriage with another man. She wanted him to wait, but didn't apply this requirement to the father of her child. The message here is very clear: she was not sexually interested in him. Do not pursue women who are only interested in friendship. Do not pursue women you have already been introduced to who do not show up for a date. For women who are frequently late, you will need to judge the circumstances and their overall behavior towards you to determine the cause and significance of their tardiness. Do not pursue women who cancel dates due "sickness" or some other problem that is not verifiable or followed by an act on her part to see you again. If during your limited stay, she can't see the importance of trying to get to know you, then she lacks genuine interest. Be careful about pursuing women who only choose the most expensive and high-end restaurants and places to visit. Most Colombian women are happy with simple outings. Evaluate the price based on how much she makes, not by how the price compares to the United States, which in comparison can be a bargain. If you offer to buy her a blouse, does she select the one that would cost her half a month salary? Low maintenance in Colombia can be high maintenance in the United States. Do not pursue women who want to rush into marriage. Do not pursue women who are not enthusiastic in sharing their time, thoughts, attention, heart, and life with you. Often it takes another man's reality slap to stop a guy from chasing the wrong woman, so share the particulars of your relationship with a close friend, which will help you make the decisions that serve your best long-term love interest.
Not Telling Her No
It is very important that you say no to occasional requests that are not necessary for your girlfriend and see how she reacts. This has nothing to do with your means or desire to satisfy her request, but to gain insight in how she takes it. Most of my clients are successful men that have the means to give their women what they want. But we know what happens when we give children all that they want; they become spoiled and make a scene when they don't get what they want. In many respects many Colombian women are no different than children. After being accustomed to your generosity, hearing a no may cause them to pout or get angry or change their mood or behavior in some unpleasant manner. I've seen Colombian women who when pampered with clothes, beauty services, and displays of higher status, turn disdainful and pretentious. Colombia is a class society and people of lower status are often looked down on. So surprisingly when you have a simple girl who would be subject to such treatment suddenly attain outward signs of success and a brighter future, she changes and expects preferential treatment from those who were once her equals. Most men, who are at this point in the relationship, will be guided by their emotions and be blind to such changes. A rush to overindulge women who have had very little in their lifetime can create unhealthy expectations from what you thought was a sweet woman; that is, if she is not well grounded.